flightforfreedom | MoM IC Inbox

Not reassuring, bud.

[But he's on his way. Eventually a carpet can be seen overhead, before slowly gliding down into the woods.]

Kay?

[He doesn't know if he can be reassuring right now, so he didn't make an attempt.]

Hello Poe.

[Kay calls out, next to a fallen tree with an X spraypainted on it. He's snapping off thinner branches on it right now. There's a number of stumps nearby, some with mold already growing over the tops.]

If you would rather go somewhere other than here, I will go with you. I am only...

"Keeping busy."

Edited 2017-10-28 22:33 (UTC)

I - don't have anywhere to go. [He jumped off the carpet and it sagged immediately, only stopped from hitting the ground by Poe catching it and then rolling it up and setting it next to a tree.

He doesn't look like he's slept. The dark circles under his eyes are still there, but at least he doesn't feel as twitchy as he did when he finally got out of the house.]

Chopping wood actually sounds... like an amazing idea right now, I'll be perfectly blunt with you. Happen to have a spare axe?

[Kay looks down to the tree, gestures toward an axe stuck halfway in it that he'd been using to cut it down, and continues to break off branches, thicker ones now that the small ones have all been removed.]

Anything small enough to fit in the fireplace is good enough. I don't care how you do it. I'm have no information on proper tree cutting procedure. I could download it, but I also don't care.

I grew up on Yavin, Kay. [He said it before he thought about it - even the word sending a painful pang through him, though the only outward sign of it was a slight tightening of his features, a slight furrowing of his brow. He grabbed the axe and then grabbed one of the branches, dragging it over toward a stump.]

Believe it or not, I know how to chop wood. [It would have been easier with some kind of plasma blade, sure, that he could just slice through the branch like butter, but his dad preferred the axe, for the work out.]

Poe preferred it too, for his dad.]

Edited 2017-10-28 22:59 (UTC)

My point was more that I don't.

[He's only learned by trial and error here. One can probably tell, from the lack of clean cuts, and from the fact that at some points it looks like he's just straight up punched the tree.

Still, he's silent after that.

Ah yes. This sure is Two Dudes cutting down trees like Men, definitely Not Talking About Their Feelings.]

You're a lot less likely to throw your back out and end up in bed for a week if you do it wrong. [He pointed out. It made a difference. He glanced to see the punching mark, and it was telling that even the smile that it brought was very small, and muted.]

If I could punch trees, I would.

[And then he starts swinging the axe down to split the branch. Like a Man. With no Feelings.]

You can. It would just hurt you a lot. You are soft.

[Yep just gonna keep chopping off branches on his own here too. With his hands though, because Poe has his axe.]

Yeah. You're telling me. [It's muttered, half under his breath, and his chopping starts to get a lot more vigorous and a lot less thoughtful, but eventually he has to stop and take a break because - as stated many times - he is a pilot, and not a boxer, and even his fleet training hasn't been as thorough since he ended up here.

He was getting even softer.

He sighed and kicked one of the free bits of wood into a pile he was making - smaller logs that he would then split later.]

[Kay continues his own work- he doesn't suffer from exhaustion, or tiredness. He waits until he hears Poe stop for a few moments before continuing.]

I didn't mean it as an insult.

[Poe runs his sleeve over his brow to wipe off the sweat. He didn't really dress for this, but oh well.]

I know, Kay.

Just frustrating that it's true.

[He pauses now, looking to Poe.]

Why is it frustrating? All humans are soft.

[Poe, on the other hand, is definitely not looking at Kay.]

Yeah. That's kind of the problem.

I shouldn't be here, Kay. Not after that.

[Oh. Yes. Alright, guess this is coming up now.]

... I'm sorry, Poe. I... am responsible for what happened to you. All of it was my fault.

[Poe wouldn't have been in the theater if he hadn't been trying to get Kay out, wouldn't have gotten sucked into his own dream if Kay had woke up faster, wouldn't have had to destroy his own dream if Kay hadn't pushed him to, wouldn't have lost his foot if Kay hadn't shaken him, wouldn't have died if Kay had been more careful-

It all was his fault, he's known this since he left the house, and honestly he's been waiting for Poe to finally acknowledge where the blame should go.]

Kay, you weren't even there for half of it.

[He grabbed one of the logs and put it on the stump, before swinging down to split it with a giant crack into two pieces.]

I don't know who - or what - designed that place, but it is their fault. [He grabs another log, sets it up.] Everything in that damn place was a psychopath's wet dream, and the fact that they put you and Bodhi and everyone else through it --

[Another swing and a crack.]

[An imPort designed it. A psychopath, as Poe says, is probably accurate. But it's over, and there's no sign of this Narrator since.]

Poe.

[Noted: Building aggression mixed with stress and lack of sleep.]

What. [He snaps the word and then instantly regrets it, grimacing. He rests the axe down on the stump, still holding the handle but no longer chopping.]

Sorry.

What is it, Kay?

Perhaps wood cutting is not the best task for you to undertake right now.

I am going to respectfully disagree with you.

[He leans over to grab another piece of wood.]

I'm fine, Kay. I just- it makes my blood boil, thinking of everything here that-- it should be okay, it should be fine - maybe not great, or even good, but fine, and then ---

[Swing - CRACK]

You are rambling, with indications of elevated stress levels, and have had insufficient rest. I bet you also haven't eaten within the past six hours either.

So I'm going to respectfully disagree with your inaccurate assessment of being "fine."

[Kay takes a step closer.]

I just need to blow off some steam. [But he lowered the axe again - he didn't want to accidentally hit Kay, and he had a feeling Kay would make a grab for the axe if he kept going, so instead he just tossed it to the forest floor in frustration.]

I've gone through worse. [Partly a lie, partly not- nothing haunted his dreams like Kylo Ren's mind pull did.

Nothing haunted him like Shara.]

I just have to pull myself back together. That's it. I don't want you worrying about me.

Well, too late for that.

[On the worry part. But he doesn't step closer anymore.]

You sound less like you are trying to explain your behavior to me, and more like you're making excuses to yourself.

[He stares at the axe on the ground, almost glaring at it, and doesn't look at Kay.]

I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That's all. You don't need to deal with my shit too, Kay. You've been through enough.

All of you have.

[And this is where Kay very kindly and gently rolls his photoreceptors. Good thing Poe isn't looking, at least.]

No. I am not okay. I had someone very important to me get impaled on a giant spike in front of me.

Did I ever tell you why Cassian wanted me to be his partner? It was, almost specifically, to 'deal with his shit.'

Technically, you are correct, and I don't need to. But 'dealing with shit' is a field I am at this point extremely well versed in- and in this case, I want to. So I would appreciate it if you would not put me on some sort of pedestal that indicates when I have dealt with 'enough,' because as we can see, the rest of the planet does not care.

Edited 2017-10-29 03:43 (UTC)

[He swallows, hard, because he is not going to cry in front of Kay again. So he just swallows and glares at the axe like a stubborn child.]

I'm sorry, Kay.

[For being impaled. For everything.]

It's not- it's not a pedestal-- [It sort of is, though, and he sighs and runs a hand through his hair.]

I just- I feel like if I can't hold myself together, I'm never going to be able to help my friends. And I'd -- I'd rather everyone was safe, and alright. Even if it meant that I wasn't. Especially if I wasn't. But it's not-- its not a pedestal, I just...

[He finally looks up at Kay, and he looks almost five years older - just incredibly tired.]

Don't want to hurt you. That's all. And at the moment I'm pretty sure I'm primed to hurt just about anyone, whether I want to or not.

Edited 2017-10-29 03:54 (UTC)

(no subject)

reexamined - 2017-10-29 13:36 (UTC) - Expand

Wow I feel so attacked right now that was right in the feels

flightforfreedom - 2017-10-29 13:59 (UTC) - Expand