flightforfreedom | MoM IC Inbox

[The pause was a little too long, to make Poe's next words sound honest, even if he forced a sheepish smile to his lips and finally turned his head to look at Bodhi.]

Don't worry about me. I'm fine.

It was that or leave me there. You took the option I would have - and I was pretty much yelling at you the whole time to do it.

[He reached out for Bodhi's hand, finding it and squeezing it tightly in his own.]

I only actually meant to say thank you. You can forget I said anything else

[ Bodhi looks at him, full on, not even trying to hide the utter disbelief written on his face. ]

And I'm Emperor Palpatine. [ Deadpan. Such deadpan. ] You can talk to me, you know that, right? Or at least not lie to my face.

[ He shakes his head, honestly Poe. But doesn't pull his hand away, giving it a small squeeze in return. ]

But it killed you. [ And I was almost as horrified as I'd ever been in my whole life, he wants to say. ]

What are you thanking me for?

Edited 2017-11-17 02:48 (UTC)

[He visibly winces, giving Bodhi a sheepish look.]

... Sorry. Habit. [I'm fine. I can fly. You don't need to ground me. He cleared his throat to push the memory away. He turned his head to meet Bodhi's eyes - really meet them- despite the disbelief on display.]

I'm not trying to lie to you, Bodhi. [There's a pause there because he has to think his next words through.

He doesn't let go of Bodhi's hand.]

I've been forcing myself to be okay so long - to keep myself flying - I-- I try not to think about whether I am, or not.

Yeah. I -- I died, in there, and it wasn't even the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

But I wasn't alone.

[ Bodhi sighs, shakes his head. He's not upset, as his gaze softens as Poe finally looks at him. ] I can't speak for your experiences, but we're not in the middle of a war here, you're allowed to lean on us or not always be okay.

Me. Kay. Cassian and Jyn. We want you to be here and whole, but if you're not we're here for you.

[ Bodhi winces. ] ... And I realize that phrasing wasn't the best, sorry.

[ He can only wonder what worse is, but doesn't want to push at it. ]

And you're still not.

[He doesn't say anything, immediately, a mix of emotions that he can't clarify fighting each other in his breast and making the muscles twist. A lion and a snake on the tv might as well belong to a different world - and they do. Because Poe is only half here - he's only ever been half here. The rest of him is fighting a war that will never end.

[He swallowed, thickly, and turned his gaze away again.]

... Thanks. I- appreciate it. I wish I could feel like I wasn't - like the war was over, but--

[But Hux was still here. He didn't say it out loud. The let out a long breath.]

I want to be able to treat this place like a life. I do. But half of everything here doesn't make sense and the half that does might as well be part of the war.

Even dying-- [He hesitates, looking back at Bodhi.]

I think it was - worse for you, that for me. Part of me just- expects it, I think. All the time. It has to.

It still stands, what I said. I can't tell you how you need to live your life here, but I can hope -- that you'll somehow let yourself some manner of freedom, or happiness.

I know... it's different for you than it is for me. You leave, you go back to a war. I leave and I go back to being dead. It's made it a lot easier for me to accept this as a life and a second chance, having nothing left for me. [ Matter of fact, a simple truth Bodhi knows. He has his friends, no -- his family - the people he loves here, with him. Which only added further to that.

The Empire isn't here, either. He has choices, to make for himself.

Hux is still here, and there are other Imperials. The war isn't completely gone, and can see -- like Poe, Cassian had been with the Rebellion all his life, but unlike Poe, he was also dead, and their war was mostly a thing of the past. ]

I understand. You're a soldier. I can't tell you stop finding dangerous situations or -- getting in trouble, I seem to have that problem myself, but... you're not just a soldier, or disposable. You're kind, funny, have very strange taste, but... when I said you're a good man, I meant that.

Who knows. Maybe if I port out, when I come back, I'll be dead too. [The tone is dark, and he regrets it basically immediately, disgusted with himself.]

[It was kind of stupid, how tight his chest was feeling, and it was even more stupid that his eyes were starting to burn, a little. From what? Being told that they're a good man?

Except that wasn't it. It was who it was coming from, and why it was coming from him, and Poe just had such an overwhelming and complete sense of love for the man that he let go of his hand and threw one arm around him and dragged him in for a tight, sideways hug.]

I wish you'd survived. I can't even start to think how much fuller my life would have been, with you-- with all of you -- to look up to.

Poe... don't.

[ If someone deserves to see the end of the war, it's Poe. He'd already given so much. Jyn and Cassian, and Bodhi himself -- the rest of Rogue one, none of them got to see what their work on Scarif had helped shape, the light at the end of a dark time (though learning that for a time, everything had been peaceful was more than expected).

But he hopes, when the time comes -- Poe will be there.

He lets Poe drag him into the hug, and even returns the embrace with an arm around his shoulder. ]

I wish we could have met too, but I'm glad we got the chance at all. 'sides, I think you turned out alright. I feel like the future is in good hands, with you in it.

You're going to make me blush. [He said it with a laugh, the arm around Bodhi moving slightly so he could ruffle his hair, and - okay, he might have a slightly red tint under his tanned skin.]

But - yeah. I'm glad, too. Even if this place is - well - super fucked up. [And it was.]

I think I need to open that bottle of wine, now.

Hey - [ Laughing, Bodhi tries to pull away from his grasp. He can't even return the favor, given Poe's always perfect hair. ]

You're telling me. [ Hopefully, that's the last of that. Until whatever happens next, happens. As long as it's not another haunted house... ]

No complaints here. Honestly, I actually almost forgot all about that.

I have completely lost track of whatever was supposed to be happening in the movie.

[He admitted as he grabbed the wine bottle. There weren't even any classes, but he didn't think Bodhi would mind. So he popped the cork, took a drink, and passed it over like a suave mother fucker.]

You and me both. I think I completely lost track after they were rescuing that one guy from the jail, or at least that's what I think they were doing, but after that... [ And even up to that point, Bodhi wasn't all that invested. He shrugs, taking a long drink of the offered bottle. ]

Do you want to watch to the end or try something else?

Not sure I'd fully be able to concentrate no matter what we were watching, so this is fine.

Is - everyone else okay, though? I know that Kay was in there--

Yeah. Okay. We'll keep this on. Maybe we can play a game after this, or something like that. I don't know. [ Something that requires a little more attention, to be a better distraction. ]

Hm? Kay, he's -- he's fine. [ In the "he didn't die" way, at least. It had been a near thing in that very same room again, but -- ] We we're together in there for a little while -- but he made it out, and he's alright.

I can't speak to where he is right now, though.

[He lets out a breath.]

Alright. Good. Yeah. A game, or something. [He reaches for the bottle because that sounds like the best thing, right now, and takes a long drink.]

I hope they burned that thing to the ground once everyone was out.

Mmm. I have a deck of cards, ever tried black jack?

[ Bodhi reaches over for one of the doughnuts, some of the powdered sugar falling off around the corners of his mouth and into his beard as he munches on it thoughtfully. ]

There was a room in there that was already on fire. [ Which he knows from experience. ] Maybe if they just... knocked it down, right to the ground, set the remains on fire, then lock up whatever motherfucking [ earth swears, gotta love 'em - ] scum that put us there.

[He just nods vigourously with Bodhi's assertions of locking up 'that motherfucking scum, but doesn't add to it. Because all it would be would be swearing. Instead, he tries to go back to lighter topics.]

Poker, but that usually involves losing clothes. [He gives Bodhi a bemused half that stays on his lips as he watches that sugar fall. He resists the urge to reach out and wipe it off.

... Okay, no, he doesn't. He reaches out and with a thumb brushes it off, and then licks the sugar off his thumb. Look. Old habits die hard.]

I'm up for learning, though.

[ Grinning, he shakes his head. ] Poker is better with three or more players, in my experience.

But, uh-- [ he pauses, his breath catching a little as Poe thumbs away the sugar, feeling his face heat as he licks it. Bodhi drags his eyes away. Right.]

Yeah. I'm... I can teach you how to play. It's simple, really.

[ he pauses. ] Nobody has to take any clothes off, unless they wanted to.

Alright, let's do that. [He pretends not to notice the slight darkening of Bodhi's skin, but a fond little smile flickers at the edges of his lips, so he fails. He reaches past him and grabs a donut, though, because man that sugar was tasty.]

[He chuckled about the clothes.]

That generally depends on what else there is to bet, right?

[ And Poe notices, of course. Bodhi ducks his head as he smiles, suddenly a little... shy. Dammit, Poe. ]

Oh, well. Yeah, pretty much. But there's no limit on what you can bet. Money, for starters, obviously. We don't... even have to bet, if you don't want to.

Edited (and then i did it too.................. except i actually posted it ) 2017-11-20 00:58 (UTC)

I don't mind a bet. [The smile was still fond, and he just watched Bodhi for a moment, before taking another long drink of wine.]

Yeah, let's forget the movie. Grab some cards.

Alright. Be right back. [ He claps Poe's arm briefly, before standing and exiting the room -- he knows exactly where his deck of cards is, but once in his room, he lets out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It's probably relief that Poe is alive again, right? He's your friend, get a hold of yourself.

Bodhi grabs the cards out of his desk and returns, only been gone for two minutes.

He gives the deck a shuffle. ]

So, what're we betting on?

[Poe stuck a hand in his pocket and pulled out - some lint, a few coins, and a stamp card for a sandwich shop with 4/6 stamps on it, and then gave Bodhi a sheepish grin.]

Hey, I could wager favours, I guess. Flights, grocery trips - [But the twinkle was still in his eye.]

Or, I could start with my shirt.

[ Bodhi rolls his eyes, but playful - there's no heat behind it. ] You're gonna do that anyways, aren't you?

[ He shuffles the cards again in a perfect bridge (show off) before starting to deal them out. ] Okay, so the game is simple enough. The objective is to have a hand of cards equal to twenty-one, without going over.

[ Then he'll explain the rules, as they were taught to them. ]

Maybe. [But he admits it with the most easy smile he's given since the house, even if he doesn't realise it.]

[He nods along with the rules.]

Alright, I think I got it. [He pulls both legs up so he's seated cross-legged on the couch facing Bodhi.]

Deal me in.

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onlydoubts - 2017-11-21 07:50 (UTC) - Expand

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flightforfreedom - 2017-11-21 16:47 (UTC) - Expand

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almost typod that as 'what else there is to bed' and almost left it that way

HAHAH well i mean

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