MoM IC Inbox

[flightforfreedom]

You've reached Poe Dameron. I'm off flying something or trying not to get killed, so go ahead and leave a message and I'll get back to you eventually.

 

Comments

don't challenge me again you fool old man

[shadowglitter]

[ Odin's eyes light up and he beams back, running his fingers through his hair, threading through where Poe last touched him. Every inch of his face is expressive, authentic, filled with so much joy and happiness and warmth that couldn't possibly be real. It's the sheen over his eyes and the way that he's looking through Poe, watching somewhere behind him, neutral and distant, that gives away the falseness in it all. After over a month of looking at Poe like he hung the fucking moon, the absence of that overwhelming, dominating love, something that had been so fucking obvious but so easily ignored, leaves - a void. ]

Oh man, would you mind? That'd be great.

[ He chuckles a little, puts his hands in his pocket, catches a glimpse of his smoothed down hair in the skylight. He thinks of his parents, as he always does, when things are hard. ]

I think Peter's still got some candy left, stashed away somewhere in the kitchen.

[ He thinks of their blood, running through his veins. He thinks of how much he loved them, and how everything he's done in his life - every step he's taken, every mountain he's climbed, every trial he's overcome - ]

You can eat some of that, if you want? I won't tell.

[ - has been for them. He thinks of how proud he is, to be a part of them, to have them be a part of him in turn. He thinks of the tenets they tried to instill in him - his mother's bravery, his father's patience. ]

And hey, if you find any, leave some out for me -- I can't deal with this space paste bullshit anymore.

[ He pulls a face, exaggerated and silly, tongue out like he's gonna throw up. What kind of face did his mother wear when she was killed, he wonders? He found her broken body only after she had been-- ]

Everyone'll probably be up pretty soon, so we can make it a whole, like--

[ -- but he saw his dad, because he'd pushed him to the ground to protect him, and when he was taken down his teeth were bared and his eyes were furious and he wouldn't stop bleeding, collapsed on top of his sword and shielding Owain with his body and telling him to go, to run, to survive -- ]

--friend, thing--

[ -- an arrow through his spine, piercing his ribs, shredding him from the inside -- ]

--and make a night of it.

[ -- blood fell from his mouth, sputtered on his son, and Owain screamed, knowing this was his fault, that he did this, that he was the reason why his father, so much more deserving of life than he ever could be, died so much earlier than he should have -- ]

I bet the cameras have missed us all hanging out as bros with all this drama that just went down, hahaha.

[ -- and dad told me to run, to run, to run and survive and be strong and value myself and i don't and i don't and i don't. He thinks of how fucking disgusted his parents would be, the two heroes he was born from, if they could see him right now. His father would be ashamed of the coward he is, so broken by something as simple as rejection, unworthy of being called his son, unworthy of being left alive in his stead. His mother would be embarrassed by the sight of him - she who was always so proud of him no matter what he did would finally see him as the weak, needy worm he's always been, a parasite who needs the love and affection of others to survive and can barely make it through the day without it. They wanted him to live up to his actions and his heritage, as a man born from nobility who would go on to save so many and do so much, ]

Man, maybe I should actually hit the kitchen with you before I head out there?

[ but all he is is unlovable, unwanted, not good enough, not good enough. A child in an adult's body who struggled with the value of his life and struggles still, now knowing the one person who he thought actually wanted the parts of him he detested in himself never really did.

This isn't fair, this isn't fair. He's supposed to be stronger, he's supposed to be someone people want, Poe's supposed to want him, Poe's supposed to want him.

There are no arrows in Owain's back. No elegance or bravery or worth in his death. Just a casualty in a bigger, better person's story.

Poe will never love him. ]

Oh! [ His eyes are bright, again, like he thought of something exciting that he has to share with Poe, even though all he can see is his father's death. ] I'm gonna take Riptide out to play outside at some point - he wanted to play ice tag? Which is a kind of -

[ stop talking, stop talking, you're just annoying him, he's just trying to be kind to you, that's all he's ever been, kind and putting up with you, he doesn't mean any of it, he doesn't mean it when he says he doesn't want to lose you, this is just to make things easier while you're both stuck up here, you'll never see him again when you're back on earth, he's already gone, this is pointless ]

-- well, it doesn't matter. I'll just let you know, if I remember, and I'll invite you out. Yeah?

[ Still smiling, still smiling, still smiling. Distant, distant, distant. He kicks off the wall and heads out, one hand waving cheerfully above him. ]

I'll seeya later, dude. Have a good one.