flightforfreedom | A stupid post for stupid threads

Poe didn't notice the frown, didn't even notice if there was a pause - as he wasn't able to see Finn's face and wasn't paying attention even if he could. After all, he was used to the wounds, now. He saw them, felt them, every day. He would be scarred for the rest of his life.

At least he had a life to worry about. He watched his mother as the vid changed to another one, of him in his mother's lap in the fighter, the first day that she began to teach him how to fly. A familiar, if old - if worn - grief grew in his chest. But it wasn't the sharp, helpless grief of his child hood. Just a small, bittersweet longing.

He hoped wherever she was, she could see how happy he was right now - Finn's arms around him, fussing over him as they sat in bed. A purpose that was worthwhile.

Upholding her legend, even if he didn't even know that legend until after her death.

"Brother?" He said, pulled from his own thoughts, before his brain caught up. "Oh - BB-8? You haven't been fighting with him. You're fine."

"Tell him that."

But it's an after thought reply at best, Finn for a long moment more watching Poe than watching the screen. Not that he hadn't seen the picture- sweet, really, was the only word for it. But the cute kid on the screen meant far less than how the man in Finn's arms reacted to seeing his younger self in his mother's lap.

It wasn't a pain- if he could even call it pain- he could related to. He missed the absence of a memory, not the memory itself. But he could kiss just behind Poe's ear as he started re-wrapping the bandages.

"Doin' alright?"

"Yeah," Poe replied, but it was a softer answer than he would have given anyone else, in any other situation. Maybe it was the pain meds.

"I'm fine. It's been a long time, that's all." He reached out, his fingers just grazing through her figure in the hologram, before it shifted and went to the next one. "Sorry. At least I'm not moving, right?"

"It's okay to miss your mother, Poe."

So he's been told- no, so he knew. Even with only the fact he must have had one given his lack of resemblance to the original clone army, he missed having had one. He couldn't imagine what it'd be like knowing just how good it could be, only to have it all go away.

But he wasn't that sure how to follow the statement up, so he twisted the bandages around him one more time.

"Lift your arms a little."

He didn't really answer the first statement. He made a low sound, probably agreement, but didn't turn his head. He lifted his arms instead, shifting to give Finn better access. And give himself time to think of a reply.

"Sure. Everyone misses the people they lose," He said finally. "Some more than others. Doesn't help keep me from feeling like a right asshole from doing it in front of you," He offered, turning his head and tilting his chin up to catch Finn's eyes.

"Why?"

There was just confusion there. He talked about his lack of family, sure. But he'd never held it against other people that they'd had it. If anything, Poe was a wonder, a marvel from a world he'd only heard about in legend. To stumble across it and find out that kind of life was real was a miracle on the level of the Jedi still existing.

He wrapped fast and efficiently, tucking in the ends from the first section in before moving on to the next.

"Something wrong with me?"

"No! No, that's not what I meant," Poe said, frowning as he turned a little more fully, though he helped by putting a hand on one end of the bandage to keep it in place.

"There's nothing wrong with you. But it's - I know how much was taken from you, probably more than you do, Finn. That's not something I'm ever going to forgive the First Order for."

"Good. I won't either."

Poe being helpful. Maybe he'd have to work on this guilt trip thing a little-

No. Finn paused to grab Poe's chin, making sure he was looking at him.

"But seeing that kind of life's out there, Poe? That's incredible. All that's holding the Order up is the idea personal connections, caring about something other than the greater whole, is the cancer killing the universe. You're proof they're wrong. You and your family. That's not something to say sorry for."

His heart thumped, unhelpfully, a little bit painfully, as he met Finn's eyes to see the solemn sincerity there.

"... You don't have to just see it, Finn," He replied before his head could catch up with his heart and start blaring warning sirens. "You can have it, too."

It was a little late for Finn's childhood, but he smiled, small and fond, at Poe before turning his attention back to the task at hand with the bandages.

"Taking me to meet your dad?"

It hadn't been what he meant but he was happy to grab at the escape offered him.

"... Yeah. Yeah, I could." He put a hand over Finn's to sill him, before shifting to twist around to look at him.

"I can't stay here and do nothing, Finn. I can't watch everyone else risking their lives while I lie in bed, but it's not just you. The General has grounded me, too. No missions for weeks. So why don't we go spend them somewhere else?"

Technically, Finn was still among the list of people that could go and risk their lives. Poe had brought him into the rebellion and he'd been pulling his weight since. But Finn was past fighting only for big causes. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Poe he could fight for the rebellion or for the pilot. In the past few days he'd just left out the fact, having tried the living for the rebellion thing, he'd decided to pick the latter option. So if Poe wanted off base, they were going off base. Easy choice.

But he was still putting those bandages back in place, scooting back a little to give himself room to work with Poe's new position.

"Alright. I'll charter something, but you're still a passenger on this one."

Poe groaned lowly, disappointed, but nodded. "Alright, alright." He agreed, raising his arms again to make it easier.

"But fair warning, we may need a lot of vids if you're going to manage to keep me from commandeering the ship," he teased with a roguish smile. "Or you'll have to think up something else to keep me occupied."

"You kidding? You've gotta take me through the full family history. I don't like going in unprepared."

Sorry, Poe. You outflanked him this time, but in an hour within the last orgasm it's a little difficult to manage the same distraction technique. Now sit still and let him finish the bandages.

"I don't even know what side that grandfather's on."

Poe laughed. "I can give you as much of it as I remember," Poe teased. The other distraction techniques could wait until they were on a freighter.

He had time.

(Too much time.)

"And my mother's. Her name was Shara Bey," He said, smiling, before shifting around again to settle back and let Finn get on with it. "I didn't even realise that name meant anything until later. But she was one of the greatest pilots in the rebellion."

"Who broke that fact to you?"

The movies were on pause for now, but that was alright. They'd have the flight and Finn had a lot of history to get out of the man before he met a father for the first time.

"I did," Poe admitted. "When I joined the Republic fleet. Kept finding her commendations come up in the archives - tons of messages from co-pilots about how she saved their asses." He paused, not looking at anything in particular.

"She didn't tell me any of it," he continued eventually. "I mean - I knew she was in the war, obviously, I knew they both were. But whenever I asked her about it, I would get stories about Luke, or the Jedi, or someone else's stories. She never told me anything about her own."

There was a pause, and then he laughed a little, as if to shrug off something. "You'd be better off not to try to talk about her with my Dad, though. Not unless you want to hear an old man ramble about something he lost decades ago."

Finn gave the bandages one last look over, confirming they were all replaced to satisfaction. Then he shifted slightly, arms going around Poe again and hands...well, he wished he could think of a better term than petting. But his thoughts were more occupied listening to Poe, both his words and his body language. So petting would have to work for the light stroking, all fondness without any intent to turn it back to sex. Just fingers running along Poe's arm, his neck, the edge of a bandage. Anywhere he could reach without having to shift the man in his arms.

"Speaking from experience on that one?"

"Yeah." There was a lot of weight to that word, but he didn't elaborate further.

"I think you'll like him, though. I hope you will. I know he'll like you." He offered a bit of a sideways smile, completely enjoying the physical affection, and returning in kind as he let his hands run over Finn's outer thigh, fingers playing with his knees.

"He'll try to convince you to convince me to retire, probably."

"Can't blame the guy."

Maybe this wasn't Finn's best plan. It wasn't the idea he might not like Poe's dad, it was that he might find the guy had a point and Poe would know when Finn agreed with him. Over Poe. That didn't seem like an ideal restful vacation, but so be it. Finn wanted to go. Any potential fall out would be worth getting to see into that side of a life. Of Poe's life. Like joining the Rebellion, he'd just focus on what it meant to the people he cared about and try not to dwell on the fact it was probably going to end in fire and pain.

"How'd they meet?"

"They signed up for the Rebellion almost the same day," Poe said, fondly. "So they were in basic together, before being sent off to different positions. Apparently things just clicked from there," He said, with a sheepish shrug. "My mom said she'd tell me when I got older, but - well. I never asked dad, after that." It's said casually, but with the same kind of slight shadow to it - a humour that was built, rather than honest.

"Unfortunately official records don't usually keep track of that sort of thing," he added with a tease.

Finn snorted softly.

"Just goes to show. You bet the Order keeps every act of non-conformity on record. You'd have had the whole thing documented."

Start to finish. A line best left out considering that finish. But this was getting a little grim, and Finn was already feeling the unfamiliar strain of Poe's issues with his father. And the man wasn't even in the same star system yet.

"But you really were doomed from the start."

Poe snorted. "What, to join the Resistance?" He shrugged, which really just involved settling further into Finn's embrace, not at all making it obvious just how much he was enjoying resting against him.

Maybe resting wasn't all bad.

"I think you'd be surprised. Joining up felt more like rebelling than anything the resistance has had me do."

The resistance and the rebellion had always been more or less synonymous to Finn. There probably were differences, but complex politics weren't really part of the trooper training plan.

Things he should really learn more about now.

"Thought the rebels and the Republic were on the same team."

"We should be," He said, frowning. It didn't really matter now, what with the seat of the Republic destroyed.

"But we aren't. There's a reason I'm here, not there. The Republic had a very strict policy of non interference with the First Order. We would get court martialed if we wandered into the no-fly zone, while the First Order raided and pillaged as much as they wanted to. Even when I found First Order spies in the heart of the Republic - didn't matter. The illusion of peace was better than fighting to keep it. Lucky for me, instead of getting dishonourably discharged and sent off on my ass, the General swooped in and picked me up, instead."

A stupid post for stupid threads

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