flightforfreedom | MoM IC Inbox

That sounds.. charming, actually. [ He watches Poe with Neko for a moment, stopping to give the roomba a small pat before it speeds off, then picks up the movie in question. ]

Robin Hood? Oh, they're animals wearing clothes. That's funny. [ and a quick look at the synopsis on the back cover. ] Alright, let's try it.

[ and in the player, the movie goes. ]

What kind of snacks did you bring? I have some miniature chocolate bars -- if you want some of those. [ Which is supposed to be Halloween candy, but he can always replace it later. ]

Sure, bring them out. Let's see - I got chips, tiny white powdered donuts, a bunch of little packages of crackers and cheese - I love these things, okay - a bunch of candy and uh -- [He pauses as he pulls out a loaf of convenience store banana bread] -- whatever this is.

[He puts them down on the coffee table and then flops onto the couch like he would sink into it. Even couches felt like a luxury, after that place. Being able to relax and sit down-- .... Try not to think about it, Dameron.]

Sounds good, all of it. I'm starving, I haven't had anything to eat since before -- [ a pause ] yeah, I'll be right back.

[ Bodhi catches himself before he says the words, and shakes himself out of it, smiling and going to get the candy out of the cupboard.

Nope, not talking about that. Or thinking about it.

Returning, he plops the bag on the table and settles back on the sofa, going for one of the doughnuts, just as the opening of the movie begin to play. ]

[He knows the weight in that pause, but he doesn't address it. He doesn't want to think about it either. Even if part of him can't stop thinking about it.

He needs Bodhi to know he's okay.

He needs to know that Bodhi's okay.

So when the man flops down on the couch, Poe shuffles right over until he's leaning a shoulder against him.]

I have to admit in advance that I only know what half these animals are even supposed to be. I need to go to the zoo again.

[ Bodhi raises a brow, but he doesn't say anything as Poe scoots over to him. In fact, he feels some of the tension loosen from his body. This is ... nice.

Poe is alive, and real. There's no life or death situation. Just them, a movie and junkfood.

He laughs. ] I think we have rabbits, foxes, a turtle... I'm not sure what the big guy is?

We should do that, one of these days. Go to the zoo. They had some strange animals.

[ Says the guy who lived in space. ]

[It's not totally out of the ordinary - Poe has a tendency towards physical affection anyway, and especially with Finn is almost always leaning on or touching him. But this seems a little different. Maybe it was simply because he needed to be reminded of Bodhi being whole and solid. And of himself not being in pieces. Yeah. Stop thinking, Dameron.]

I've been a couple of times - mostly after it's closed. Yeah, yeah, I know, but they don't like me flying around there in the day. Means I don't get to see everything, though.

[He falls quiet as the movie goes on, but beyond noting that for whatever reason Robin Hood is really attractive, he's having a hard time paying attention. His mind just keeps wandering back to the house like a broken record, skipping from disaster to disaster. So after a little while, without actually looking at Bodhi, he speaks.]

.... I wanted to say thank you. For - uh - for staying with me.

And I'm sorry.

Maybe we could actually do during the day, you see more that way. Giraffes, for example. If you haven't seen an giraffe, you've missed out.

[ During the silence, watching the film (the music is quite engaging) - Bodhi occasionally glances up and over at Poe, or nudges him in the shoulder when he remarks on Robin Hood's attractiveness, but the smile fades quickly after each of these instances.

It feels like he's waiting, for someone to bring up what had happened in the haunted house.

Poe beats him to it. It feels weird to have this conversation with a children's film on in the background. But it's all but out of his mind.]

I -- couldn't just leave you there. [ Bodhi knows what its like, to die alone. Each time, he'd been on his own. As horrifying as it had been, he didn't want Poe to experience that. However, at the next... the apology, Bodhi pulls away slightly, to look at him. ]

For what? You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything that happened in that house, that was on the bastard that threw us in there.

[ And yet, he blames himself for breaking the glass to begin with. ]

[Poe's eyes are still fixed on the screen, but his brows are knitted tightly above them.]

I know. But I tried to find you, after, and I just -- it was like running in circles with no way out.

[Without the support of Bodhi's shoulder, he slumped further into the sofa, as if it was trying to swallow him up.]

I promised myself that I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. Not again. And I - I mean that for all of you, but-- [The frown deepened, eyes still resolutely staring forward and definitely not at Bodhi.]

I wanted you to be able to count on me, to let yourself relax. Live.

I was hoping I'd be able to find you again as well, but I got stuck in other rooms. [ Instead ... There'd been the mirrors again, the fire, the dream type place. ]

Poe. [ Bodhi turns towards the man on the couch. When will you stop trying to shoulder so much? ] That's -- I'm not the one who died, in that room [ he leaves out that not long after he'd faced yet another demise via being impaled literally minutes later. ] and I appreciate you wanting to look out for me, I do but... we both know that things just happen, and you can't always fix or change them.

I already do count on you. To be my friend. But I don't want you to sacrifice your wellbeing for me, or act like it's your responsibility when something goes wrong, if I get into trouble. None of us do.

Anyways, I'm sorry I broke that mirror.

[The pause was a little too long, to make Poe's next words sound honest, even if he forced a sheepish smile to his lips and finally turned his head to look at Bodhi.]

Don't worry about me. I'm fine.

It was that or leave me there. You took the option I would have - and I was pretty much yelling at you the whole time to do it.

[He reached out for Bodhi's hand, finding it and squeezing it tightly in his own.]

I only actually meant to say thank you. You can forget I said anything else

[ Bodhi looks at him, full on, not even trying to hide the utter disbelief written on his face. ]

And I'm Emperor Palpatine. [ Deadpan. Such deadpan. ] You can talk to me, you know that, right? Or at least not lie to my face.

[ He shakes his head, honestly Poe. But doesn't pull his hand away, giving it a small squeeze in return. ]

But it killed you. [ And I was almost as horrified as I'd ever been in my whole life, he wants to say. ]

What are you thanking me for?

Edited 2017-11-17 02:48 (UTC)

[He visibly winces, giving Bodhi a sheepish look.]

... Sorry. Habit. [I'm fine. I can fly. You don't need to ground me. He cleared his throat to push the memory away. He turned his head to meet Bodhi's eyes - really meet them- despite the disbelief on display.]

I'm not trying to lie to you, Bodhi. [There's a pause there because he has to think his next words through.

He doesn't let go of Bodhi's hand.]

I've been forcing myself to be okay so long - to keep myself flying - I-- I try not to think about whether I am, or not.

Yeah. I -- I died, in there, and it wasn't even the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

But I wasn't alone.

[ Bodhi sighs, shakes his head. He's not upset, as his gaze softens as Poe finally looks at him. ] I can't speak for your experiences, but we're not in the middle of a war here, you're allowed to lean on us or not always be okay.

Me. Kay. Cassian and Jyn. We want you to be here and whole, but if you're not we're here for you.

[ Bodhi winces. ] ... And I realize that phrasing wasn't the best, sorry.

[ He can only wonder what worse is, but doesn't want to push at it. ]

And you're still not.

[He doesn't say anything, immediately, a mix of emotions that he can't clarify fighting each other in his breast and making the muscles twist. A lion and a snake on the tv might as well belong to a different world - and they do. Because Poe is only half here - he's only ever been half here. The rest of him is fighting a war that will never end.

[He swallowed, thickly, and turned his gaze away again.]

... Thanks. I- appreciate it. I wish I could feel like I wasn't - like the war was over, but--

[But Hux was still here. He didn't say it out loud. The let out a long breath.]

I want to be able to treat this place like a life. I do. But half of everything here doesn't make sense and the half that does might as well be part of the war.

Even dying-- [He hesitates, looking back at Bodhi.]

I think it was - worse for you, that for me. Part of me just- expects it, I think. All the time. It has to.

It still stands, what I said. I can't tell you how you need to live your life here, but I can hope -- that you'll somehow let yourself some manner of freedom, or happiness.

I know... it's different for you than it is for me. You leave, you go back to a war. I leave and I go back to being dead. It's made it a lot easier for me to accept this as a life and a second chance, having nothing left for me. [ Matter of fact, a simple truth Bodhi knows. He has his friends, no -- his family - the people he loves here, with him. Which only added further to that.

The Empire isn't here, either. He has choices, to make for himself.

Hux is still here, and there are other Imperials. The war isn't completely gone, and can see -- like Poe, Cassian had been with the Rebellion all his life, but unlike Poe, he was also dead, and their war was mostly a thing of the past. ]

I understand. You're a soldier. I can't tell you stop finding dangerous situations or -- getting in trouble, I seem to have that problem myself, but... you're not just a soldier, or disposable. You're kind, funny, have very strange taste, but... when I said you're a good man, I meant that.

Who knows. Maybe if I port out, when I come back, I'll be dead too. [The tone is dark, and he regrets it basically immediately, disgusted with himself.]

[It was kind of stupid, how tight his chest was feeling, and it was even more stupid that his eyes were starting to burn, a little. From what? Being told that they're a good man?

Except that wasn't it. It was who it was coming from, and why it was coming from him, and Poe just had such an overwhelming and complete sense of love for the man that he let go of his hand and threw one arm around him and dragged him in for a tight, sideways hug.]

I wish you'd survived. I can't even start to think how much fuller my life would have been, with you-- with all of you -- to look up to.

Poe... don't.

[ If someone deserves to see the end of the war, it's Poe. He'd already given so much. Jyn and Cassian, and Bodhi himself -- the rest of Rogue one, none of them got to see what their work on Scarif had helped shape, the light at the end of a dark time (though learning that for a time, everything had been peaceful was more than expected).

But he hopes, when the time comes -- Poe will be there.

He lets Poe drag him into the hug, and even returns the embrace with an arm around his shoulder. ]

I wish we could have met too, but I'm glad we got the chance at all. 'sides, I think you turned out alright. I feel like the future is in good hands, with you in it.

You're going to make me blush. [He said it with a laugh, the arm around Bodhi moving slightly so he could ruffle his hair, and - okay, he might have a slightly red tint under his tanned skin.]

But - yeah. I'm glad, too. Even if this place is - well - super fucked up. [And it was.]

I think I need to open that bottle of wine, now.

Hey - [ Laughing, Bodhi tries to pull away from his grasp. He can't even return the favor, given Poe's always perfect hair. ]

You're telling me. [ Hopefully, that's the last of that. Until whatever happens next, happens. As long as it's not another haunted house... ]

No complaints here. Honestly, I actually almost forgot all about that.

I have completely lost track of whatever was supposed to be happening in the movie.

[He admitted as he grabbed the wine bottle. There weren't even any classes, but he didn't think Bodhi would mind. So he popped the cork, took a drink, and passed it over like a suave mother fucker.]

You and me both. I think I completely lost track after they were rescuing that one guy from the jail, or at least that's what I think they were doing, but after that... [ And even up to that point, Bodhi wasn't all that invested. He shrugs, taking a long drink of the offered bottle. ]

Do you want to watch to the end or try something else?

Not sure I'd fully be able to concentrate no matter what we were watching, so this is fine.

Is - everyone else okay, though? I know that Kay was in there--

Yeah. Okay. We'll keep this on. Maybe we can play a game after this, or something like that. I don't know. [ Something that requires a little more attention, to be a better distraction. ]

Hm? Kay, he's -- he's fine. [ In the "he didn't die" way, at least. It had been a near thing in that very same room again, but -- ] We we're together in there for a little while -- but he made it out, and he's alright.

I can't speak to where he is right now, though.

[He lets out a breath.]

Alright. Good. Yeah. A game, or something. [He reaches for the bottle because that sounds like the best thing, right now, and takes a long drink.]

I hope they burned that thing to the ground once everyone was out.

Mmm. I have a deck of cards, ever tried black jack?

[ Bodhi reaches over for one of the doughnuts, some of the powdered sugar falling off around the corners of his mouth and into his beard as he munches on it thoughtfully. ]

There was a room in there that was already on fire. [ Which he knows from experience. ] Maybe if they just... knocked it down, right to the ground, set the remains on fire, then lock up whatever motherfucking [ earth swears, gotta love 'em - ] scum that put us there.

MoM IC Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

almost typod that as 'what else there is to bed' and almost left it that way

HAHAH well i mean

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)