Poe "Fite Me" Dameron (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flightforfreedom) wrote2017-07-06 04:53 pm
flightforfreedom) wrote2017-07-06 04:53 pm
MoM IC Inbox
You've reached Poe Dameron. I'm off flying something or trying not to get killed, so go ahead and leave a message and I'll get back to you eventually.
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look it was gonna happen at some point
maybe it should've happened earlier, maybe not
i don't know the nuances of your relationship with him and i'm not really interested in passing judgement or causing you more pain
there's just
no right way to handle what happened
i don't think
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i didn't want to hurt him, archie
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i know we're not like amazing best friends who know each other inside and out but
i'm pretty sure you're not that kind of guy, poe
i know it seems like a black hole of shit right now but i have no doubt you two can both move past this
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just - keep an eye out for him, please? Pretty sure anything I could do or say at this point would only make it worse
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i know it seems like it was a world-ending event but
let's be honest, we've all been rejected a couple times in our lives
you'll both be okay
maybe not for a couple of months
but
you will be.
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i'm not worried about myself, i've been through worse
i just
he deserves a hell of a lot better
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you told him straight what the situation was
and you can't hate yourself for his feelings either
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[But I don't not return his feelings, a part of him thinks, but that is about a hundred times worse, so. yeah.]
archie, you know odin
you know how easy it is for him to - to internalise things and turn them on himself
i just gave him enough canon fodder to do it for years
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but you also have to realise that isn't necessarily your fault?
if you had lied and said yes, all while liking this other person, that would've just dragged more hurt into it
there was no good or easy way to do this
and it's going to be hard
but he'll have to accept that sometimes things don't work out the way he plays them in his head
you said no. that was your choice. he can't change it.
his expectations of you aren't on you
and i'm not saying he's wrong for having those feelings
i just
i don't know
i'm hoping he can eventually come to see this as just one of the shitty parts of life that everyone has to go through
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i think this is a lot more my fault than you think it is.
i saw the writing on the wall
and i didn't do jack shit
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you couldn't have known he would've confessed when he did
i'm sorry but i still don't think you're a monster
everyone makes mistakes
especially when they know having to do something that has to be done will hurt someone
do you really think this would've gone down any better whenever you got the signs?
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[There's silence for a bit because even he can hear how ridiculous he is starting to sound, so he sighs to clear his head.]
if i'd said something at the start.
if i'd stuck to my rule of one-night-stands only?
yeah.
probably.
[Sorry for the tmi archie...]
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i'm not gonna start saying you're awful for something you did months ago
it's done. it's happened.
figure out how to move forward from here.
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[Poe just sighs and rubs his hands over his face for a long moment. Archie was right. But a large part of him just wanted someone to yell at him, satisfy his need for punishment and discipline. If he was back in the fleet, none of this would have happened. And not just because there was a war to fight.]
sorry, archie.
i'll figure it out. if he doesn't hate me. if he does, i'll just - try to figure out how to make it better without actually - being a part of it.
he deserves a lot better than this, archie. no one else seems to get it. he's a good man. one of the best. and people keep dismissing him and he deserves to be happy.
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but you also didn't deserve to be put in that position
you're both idiots
its just important how you move on from this doesn't end up with you hurting each other more
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i tried to cut the feed
[But he sighs and rubs his face again.]
yeah. no, you're right.
advice?
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so give it a couple days, even if it means you're both stewing
you're on a space station so you won't be able to avoid each other and you might need to work together in a crisis
and i'm sure you can do that fine with your experience but frankly i don't trust odin to not do something stupid as shit
do you know what you would say to him if he wanted to talk again?
i'm not about to tell you or anything. i'm just interested.
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Kay sent me some books to read so - yeah. Going to try to give him as much space as I can. But don't worry, Archie. He's smarter than you think. And I'm not about to let anything happen to him.
...... I don't know, to be honest. I'd be pretty - damn relieved- but I don't want to say or do something that--
it's just not simple. And I don't know if I have it in me to do anything that would make Odin look at me like that again.
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yeah. i get that it's not a case of just saying the right thing and everything'll be good again.
i guess this all depends on how odin reacts over the coming days
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yeah
worst comes to worst, I make up an emergency and go home and stop ruining space for him
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but wait and see what happens
text me if you need a chat. don't care what time. my sleeping pattern is all over the place right now.
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thanks, archie
you're a good friend
just - make sure he's okay? i mean i know he's not okay but make sure he's not- i don't know. sorry. yeah. thanks.
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i'll talk to him
stay safe up there
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thanks
gonna try to get some shut eye. see you later, arch