flightforfreedom | A stupid post for stupid threads

"But she's still yours." It wasn't really a question. Mostly because he didn't really want to hear the affirmation of it. But it was a - relief, at least, in a weird way, and he pawed at the side of throat, fingers skimming over bruises. As if to ground himself, and remind himself. Finn loved him. He didn't have a doubt in his mind, about that. And he loved Rey. Unsaid, sure, but he didn't have a doubt about that either.

It wouldn't bother him half so much if he had any idea what would happen when she got home. Or if he wasn't acutely aware of the fact that Finn, never having really had a family, would want one.

As long as he had a place in it, for however long he managed to keep living, that was fine.

Finn hesitated at that, not just silent but his hands stuttering to a stop on Poe's shoulders for a moment as well before resuming their idle path. His? He considered her a critical part of his life, a stabilizing second Sun his world turned around. But his.

"I don't know."

He finally turned his head, then, looking at Finn for a long second, before offering a slightly sheepish smile and leaning down to press his fingers to Finn's knuckles on his shoulder.

"... Guess we'll have to wait and see if she bites you, then," Poe replied, still smiling at him - small, warm, and fond.

He gave a soft laugh, not so much entertained as at a loss for how else to respond. He leaned down to kiss his cheek, still mulling the whole conversation over.

"So...that was for...me?"

That got another groan and a helpless look.

"... No I... really wasn't planning on mentioning her at all, ever, when we had any of our clothes off," he admitted. "But I just-- Sorry, Finn, it just got stuck in my head, and I then I couldn't help but wondering how the force works--"

Now that got a real laugh, sorry Poe.

"Damn Force. Not sure anyone knows how it really works."

The tone was all affection and he had to duck in and kiss those lovely marks along Poe's neck. But the man had a point. Now that it was out there, now it was in his head. He wondered.

"Ah.... Keep in mind we'll see her again. Mind reading stuff."

"Yeah. Mind reading stuff." He was in trouble, whenever he met her.

He just hoped that she didn't kick the shit out of him instantly.

Finn's lips on his throat were so perfectly grounding, though, that at the moment he couldn't feel anything but affection for both him and Rey - and maybe for the first time since he'd kissed Finn that first time, he thought he might actually be looking forward to her coming back. (Even if she did kick his ass.)

"Must be a reason that the Jedi tried so hard to be celibate."

"I can get it."

He knew it wasn't meant as serious, but he couldn't help thinking of it. As a stormtrooper newly on the run, connections of any kind allowed to be formed for the first time, he hadn't been ready to understand. But now?

"I couldn't imagine having that much power and feeling like this."

Another kiss to Poe's neck, then one to one of the marks on his shoulder. No doubt what 'this' meant.

"I'd kill them all, maybe. Burn them to the ground for ever touching you."

Even if Poe's interrogation had brought them together, he'd heard the screams. His voice went lower, almost reverent as he continued.

"It takes a special kind of person, to have all that power and not get lost in it."

It shouldn't have made his chest feel so warm, the way that Finn's voice darkened. He imagine it for a second - replacing Kylo Ren with the furious figure of Finn, still in his storm trooper armour, helmet off, the entire star ship around them cracking with fury -

And was very, very glad that he had Finn as he was, instead. He slipped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer, locking them in together even though the stone steps made for a terrible resting spot.

"It's not a power I'd want," he agreed quietly. "But Rey is a special kind of person. So we can leave all that force stuff to her, I think." He leaned in, eyes closing as he pressed a firm kiss to Finn's lips. "I'm pretty happy with exactly what I've got."

"I'll still fight the Order for you. Just...uh, less dramatically."

He smiled against the kiss, not even noticing he'd stated the fact it wasn't so much the rebellion he was here for. But the truth couldn't hurt.

The stairs could though and, giving Poe a gentle nudge with his shoulder, he finally set about properly cleaning them up with the ruined shirt.

"For me, huh," He said, the smile spreading into a grin. "So I'm still wielding terrible power..." He let Finn push him back, and it was only then that he realised that Finn had actually torn his shirt and he gave a laughing groan as he started pulling his pants back up.

"There's probably some rags in the speeder, Finn," He teased him, but it was kind of adorable anyway so he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Finn's shoulder before standing - and wincing, visibly, if hopefully out of Finn's sight. He had really pushed it too far.

Too bad for Poe, the instincts honed by the past few weeks of playing nursemaid weren't going away after one hot make out session. He pulled and fastened his pants back up, leaving the shirt on the ground so he could grab Poe by the elbows in support.

"Never mind. You are an idiot."

But there was guilt in his tone, on his face. He'd been the one pushing Poe, knowing he really shouldn't, like one little speeder ride and suddenly they were back to normal. It was straight to bed after this and the chances of Poe liking that plan were pretty much none. Finn's penance for letting him go so far.

"I'm driving back."

"I'm fine, Finn," He said, his voice just breathy enough to indicate that no, he wasn't fine, but damn if he was going to admit it and get locked in his room for another week. "Just a little out of breath. Come on. We came all this way, you shouldn't miss the temples."

Even if the pain was like a dagger twisting in his side. Probably just a cramp. Probably. Maybe. ... It had totally been worth it.

He started up the steps before Finn could stop him.

He was going to pick him up and carry him to the speeder. Then back into the compound. He'd carry him straight to Kes and inform the man Poe was grounded and it would be helpful if the hair of the house agreed. He'd tie Poe up with the ruined shirt right now and make him sleep in the speeder. He'd....

Sigh and, shirtless, follow Poe around the temple. Finn really did want to see it. He was still in much better shape than the other man at the moment though, and jogged ahead, catching up enough to place the normal arm around his waist. This time more for actual support than simply as an excuse to touch him.

"Fine, but come on, man. Let me check the bandages first."

He wasn't hard to out pace, especially at the moment, and he held his hands up in surrender when Finn caught him.

"Alright, alright. But I swear I'm fine, Finn." He turned in the ex stormtooper's arms, still helpfully holding his own up and out of the way.

That in and of itself was probably a sign the pilot was not alright. Finn shook his head slightly as he performed the now practiced task of moving jacket and shirt and checking each stitched and bandaged section of chest. He'd done it enough times he could manage it in his sleep now, no motion wasted.

There was a fresh bruise growing, dark and purple, underneath the just barely healed skin in his side, still filled with stitches. None of them seems to have torn, though, but he'd done something. However - Poe didn't look down, just watched Finn's face.

"Well? Do I get a pass? Can we keep going?"

He frowned, fingers hovering over, but not quite touching the bruise. Didn't look like internal bleeding, but it wasn't ideal. Home. Home and sleep, that would be the best plan.

But when did he do that, when Poe wanted otherwise? He put the clothing carefully back in place, then gave Poe a stern look. Serious Time. No Not Listening.

"We're going slow."

He didn't like that look, and his own expression darkened slightly into a frown. "I'll be fine, fine," He promised, but the promise was far more serious than flippant, this time, as he tucked in his shirt.

"We'll go slow."

Finn still wasn't smiling, but he knew that tone. He believed Poe, as far as Poe's definition of 'fine' went. Which primarily seemed to involve currently having at least half his normal blood supply still on the inside. It was, all in all, a very relative fine.

Still, he nodded and stepped back. Poe wasn't a child, either.

"Alright. Show me stuff."

Poe was almost fully recovered - enough so that General Organa had given him permission to return to active duty - so at the end of their few weeks stay at Kes Dameron's, they were getting ready to leave. Poe decided to take the A-Wing out on a few runs, which unfortunately meant leaving Finn behind, as the fighter only took a single seat - unless you were flying with a six year old son on your lap.

When he took off for the final time, Kes watched the fighter fly off, and then let out a long breath, before turning his head to Finn.

"... Come inside. I want to talk to you."

Finn had watched the take off, too, small smile in place. The hanger, at least, was in tip top shape. Most of their clothing had seen better days at this point, but it had been for a greater goal. Watching Poe get to fly around in his mother's fighter made it all more than worth it.

It speaks to how relaxing it was here that Finn actually started a little when Kes spoke. he hadn't been paying attention, hadn't been on guard for sudden enemy invasion like a good stormtrooper would be. But he nods and follows after the man half a second later.

"What's up?"

It was obvious that Kes had been preparing himself for this conversation, and he makes his way over to the stove to put the kettle on as Finn joins him. "Take a seat," He says, motioning to the little table in the kitchen while he fiddled with the kettle. He was silent for several moments as he waited for the water to boil.

"... It isn't easy. Being with someone who... every time they go up, every time they're in a cockpit, you know they might not come back." His words are even and measured. Practised. "It's different, even, than with soldiers. We're never alone. We're with our squad, with our platoon. There's always someone at our back. It's not the same, in the air."

"No, it's not."

He took his seat slowly, very much on edge now. Simply because he wasn't sure where this talk, clearly one some thought had gone into, was going. There was no stopping Poe. Even if Finn could guilt and pressure the man into quitting- a feat he's not sure even he could manage- Finn wouldn't be able to live with himself for doing it. Nothing was going to change. Kes had to know.

Still, Kes was right. When a fellow soldier was shot it was nothing to divert part of the squad, to cover them, to live up to the idea of no man left behind. When a fighter went down, there was nothing but blind, heart stopping panic. Too far away to do anything, nothing to be done into the ship was found.

He knew.

"I tried to stop him joining up." He continued after a long moment's pause, walking back over with the water and pouring out what was some kind of tea that he'd obviously made up himself out of herbs in his garden. He set one down in front of Finn, and then one in front of the opposite seat, before slowly lowering himself into it.

"I told him that he could fly just as much, have just as an exciting life, without being in a fighter. There is so much trade work, he could fly every moment of his life and never so much as see a gun, but he wouldn't hear it. I shouldn't have tried. I knew better, even then. All it did was drive him away, and he's never..." His shoulders sunk a little then, both hands wrapped around his steaming cup as he stared down into it. "It hasn't been the same. And it probably won't be, for a very, very long time. If ever. I've had to accept that."

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