flightforfreedom | A stupid post for stupid threads

"It was a long trip. A couple hours of rest first, anyway. Then we'll finish the tour."

Finn looked straight at Poe as he said it, all too aware how little the man 'got' needing to rest. But it was a good plan, strategically as well as for Poe's health. Give Kes a little while to adjust to the idea before opening such as old door. Or for the man to vanish into the woods for the rest of the day, but Finn could wait. He'd wait the whole damn week if that's what it took to get both of them to show him around.

'A couple hours rest' was not what immediately came to mind when Finn said that. Poe's mind when somewhere much warmer, if he were honest. Which he was, because even though he'd been asleep for most of the interaction, he was already getting weary of having a silent battle with his father in the background.

"Alright, alright," He said, grinning at Finn in a way that was far too mischievous. "A nap, then I can show you where everything started."

The rest of lunch was easy enough, Finn figuring the agreement to visit the hanger was more than enough of a victory for the day. Small talk, keeping Poe hydrated, the almost normal by now game just made a little more interesting by the presence of Kes. But soon enough Finn helped clear dishes and herded the pilot back to his private section of the compound.

"Your dad wasn't sure we'd have enough room. Not sure he remembers barracks life."

Poe snorted.

"He said that? Yeah. I don't think he was talking about barracks, Finn."

As soon as they stepped into the room and the door closed behind them, he snaked an arm around Finn's waist and drew him closer, kissing the back of his neck. "Pretty sure he's trying to figure out exactly what I meant by 'good friends'."

He'd known it was coming. It was Poe. Even before he'd been injured and converted all his pent up energy into trying to get Finn to spend more time in bed, he'd been physically affectionate. Which suited Finn fine. More than that. It was part of the perfection. After years of essentially no skin on skin contact, not even a hand shake or accidental bump of shoulders, for weeks and months at a time Finn found touch as nourishing as water, as air, now that he could get it whenever he wanted. He'd discovered it when he'd grabbed Rey's hand on Jakku and hadn't stopped loving it since.

So while Poe was supposed to be getting straight to resting, Finn had to admit, to himself at least, that it'd been a conscious choice to let the man have his way for a little bit. It felt good, even better when his tipped his head back and placed a hand over Poe's on his waist, lightly running his finger tips over the bones he could just feel under the skin. But, he promised himself, it was just for a minute.

"Mm? Why's that?"

He paused, his lips still hovering over Finn's throat, before he slowly lowered them to touch skin, almost thoughtfully.

"... Finn, I've never brought anyone home," he said finally. "And I have plenty of friends, including--" Well there he hesitated, masking the hesitation by turning his head and planting a kiss on Finn's ear instead. "-- including those I've been, ah, intimate with. But I wouldn't bring them here."

Finn made a soft noise of encouragement as his attention mostly focused on Poe's mouth on his skin. It made sense, he guessed, and a few months ago, before the fight and the injuries and the time spent trying to get Poe to not kill himself out of boredom, he might have over analyzed parts of that. But he knew exactly how many friends had been in Poe's 'intimate' category since. Poe was a man of action. So was Finn, when it came down do it. That he'd come back to Poe and Poe had let him come here, those were actions.

"Shouldn't that be enough?"

He didn't know how to answer the question. Mostly because it was actually several different questions, and he had no idea which one Finn was actually asking.

Actually saying what he should was impossible. His father wanted to know if Poe was in love with Finn. That's what it really came down to. But even stating that outloud had potential consequences, and having to try to answer that - in front of Finn-

He couldn't help but remember that Rey would be coming home eventually. So he shoved it down hard.

"Enough for what?" He finally asked, because questions were easier than answers and he needed to stall for time.

And distractions. Yes. Distractions were good. And letting his teeth bite down into Finn's earlobe, drawing it between his lips and sucking on it - that should be distracting enough, right?

"Resting, Poe."

Pulling away. That was the idea. A bad, terrible, overly difficult idea, but one that, after a long moment of indulging, he managed to do. Somewhat. At least wiggled to earn enough room so that he could tilt his head to the side to see the too-close blur that was the most frustrating pilot in the galaxy.

"You're supposed to be resting."

But there'd been a question along with that bite, even if it takes Finn a moment focus on that fact. Good thing he wasn't above bartering.

"Get in bed and I'll tell you. In. Not on. Shoes off, the whole deal."

Shot down faster than a TIE in a dog fight. Poe sighed almost wistfully as Finn pulled back, and removed his arms to hold them up in defeat, trying not to think about what the evasion actually meant.

"Just my shoes?" He teased as he kicked them off and stepped backwards to the bed, pulling out the sheets.

Yeah. Good friends. He was such an idiot.

"Maybe one other thing."

While Poe pulled out the sheets, Finn trailed his hands down his back to tug up Poe's shirt. He would give the man ideas- he was having ideas, honestly- but as nice as the man was to touch, the practical need to make sure no bandage was loose or slow bleed happening also applied. That had to at least partially justify half-stripping the man in his childhood room for reasons beyond Finn's own enjoyment. Right?

"Hands up."

The smile flickered across his lips, but he obediently put his hands up in the air.

"You know, it really is warm in here. If you're going to take a nap too, you might need to lose some of those cumbersome clothes yourself."

"I'll be on top of the blankets."

Because resting. Even if...no. Once the shirt is pulled off and discarded, Finn's fingers may linger on the visible patches of (sickly yellow in some places) skin as he check everything, tracing along the edges of bandages in a way that was in no way needed, but rest. It had been a long trip, and vibrations from ships and speeders could agitate wounds in not clearly visible ways. And Kes was still up and around, possibly stopping in at some point to check on his son. The unencumbered 'napping' could wait until night time.

Seeing everything was in good order, he gave Poe's back a gentle but unwavering push towards the bed.

Poe sighed again - more dramatically, this time - and climbed into bed as he was told. He wasn't going to admit how good laying down vertically felt, so all he did was pat the bed beside him.

Finn shook his head, fond smile in place, then kicked off his own shoes and, after a moment of hesitation, undid his blaster from its holster at his side then removed the belt, too. More comfortable that way. The weapon was placed on an end table in easy reach as Finn, still on the other side of the blankets as promised, curled around Poe's form in what he refused to think of as a defensive position. Sure, he was in a perfect situation to move quickly, covering Poe with his own body and being able to reach his blaster at the same time, but the fact that even on this world he couldn't let his vigilance down wasn't something he wanted to think of or even acknowledge.

It was just comfortable this way. End of story.

"The fact I'm here."

Poe hadn't exactly forgotten that he'd asked a question, but it had left his mind long enough that he needed a few seconds to trace back what they were talking about.

Nope, he still had absolutely no idea what that meant.

He wet his lips, curling up against Finn. "... Yeah, that's-- The point is that he's not totally sure exactly what that means," Poe replied, not admitting that he wasn't sure what it meant either. "There's a pretty wide range from 'good friends' onward."

It's through the blankets, but he still idly strokes his fingers against Poe'd shoulders and upper arms, the action now far more habit than conscious choice. Finn was starting to wonder exactly what this conversation meant. He'd been pretty firm on where Poe fit in his life, as unnamed as it had been. But maybe it was being here, in this place, for Poe. Mother, father, wife, husband, son. Friend. All nice neat little titles, a classification system Finn had never been part of.

Until now, apparently. Suddenly he wasn't sure where he was supposed to fit, either.

"Well. It means...something. Doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

Speaking for himself, now, not pretending to be speaking for his father, and unable to keep himself from following the trace of Finn's fingers on his skin through the fabric of the blanket. (Hating the blanket, quietly.)

"Yeah it... means something." No. That wasn't good enough. He turned slightly, to meet Finn's eyes. "... It means a lot, Finn. To me."

"Good."

He should say something more. The concern that had just started churning in his stomach, creeping up his spine, had vanished in a wave that he could practically feel flowing out and away from him, serenity taking its place. Finn really should manage something charming, something...touching.

"That's...that's good."

Or he can just repeat himself. A half second of hesitation later and he presses a kiss to Poe's forehead as a second attempt at managing a meaningful response. And as an apology for his...self, really. Just all of him at this moment.

The smile spread slowly, but inevitably, just warm and fond, as if he couldn't have expected any answer save that one. His eyes close as Finn's lips press to his forehead, and the smile is still there when Finn pulls away again. A hesitant, but insistent hope pressing against his ribs.

"... Good friends doesn't really cover it." he said very quietly after a minute, the kiss having instilled at least a little courage. "Does it."

"Ah...No. No, you're right."

It didn't cover even the smallest tip of the mountain. Finn shifted, laying down fully now so he could pull Poe in even closer, tucking the man's head beneath his chin and securing his arm around Poe's shoulders. Hot boyfriend didn't even really cover it. Not this feeling he got at being allowed to do this, to have this. He was Poe, a unique man with a unique position in Finn's life.

It was probably the afterglow of Poe's words, combined with the courage given by not having to meet the man's eyes, but rather than just leaving it there he pressed his mouth and nose into Poe's hair, speaking softly but unwavering.

"You're mine."

Poe was pretty satisfied as it was - the embrace even more an affirmation than the words had been, and he had folded easily into it, closing his eyes and breathing deep--

And then Finn spoke again.

The rush was so immediate - a surge so great that it took his breath and trapped it in his chest just under his heart as it slammed against his ribs. He didn't really know two words could mean that much to him - hadn't really known how badly he'd needed to hear them, despite everything. How perfect it felt, slotted into his heart.

It took a whole half a minute before he even thought to do anything, the smile so hidden and so wide that he was sure Finn could feel it as he turned his lips up, pressing them against Finn's adam apple.

"... Yeah. I'm yours, Finn."

"Always giving me heart attacks."

It was huffed into Poe's hair, but damn if it didn't feel like his heart had taken on a life of it's own. So close to his chest, to the pulse in his neck, Poe had to be hearing how hard it was beating twice over after that long, long pause. It to have been at least a half hour long, Finn was pretty sure. Of just silently holding Poe, feeling his lungs pause then resume, sure he'd done something wrong-

Huh. Suddenly that first night, that whispered perfect and the following response made far more sense.

Finn pressed an kiss into Poe's hair, only just remembering not to tighten his grasp to something painful around the still injured man. There was no escape for either of them now. Not now that he knew he could keep this.

"Gotta keep you on your toes somehow," Poe replied, his voice a little breathier than maybe it should have been, his own pulse racing so fast that he barely even noticed Finn's.

He buried himself in against Finn, despite the sheets (he really hated those sheets), his face pressed fully into Finn's throat, trying to beat down the smile that was so wide it hurt. Trying and failing. "Damn, but I love you, Finn," He said in a rush, as if Finn had broken whatever barrier had been holding it back until now.

He didn't even care, anymore, if he wasn't the only one who was Finn's.

"I know."

He smiled against Poe's hair, fingers now stroking at the back of his neck where he could touch skin. Real, actual skin instead of the self-imposed exile that was the blanket between them.

Maybe Kes had a point. There was a war and horrible things to stop, innocent people to save. But they could just stay here, right here, and Finn was pretty sure he would be content for the rest of life.

"I, uh...I Knew that for a while. Thought you would've figured it out first."

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